The Most Awkward Dinner...

I'd like to introduce you to my family here in Rwanda. Some of you might know that I will be living with a Rwandan family while I train in Rwamagana for the first 3 months in country. On Friday, I sat in a huge room in the training center waiting for my name to be called to meet my new family. When my name was finally called I stood up looking for an Rwandan to also stand, no one did, instead 3 adorable little girls started waving their hands in the air. I moved through the crowd slowly trying to find these girls who will become my family. I finally made it to their seats where I met my host mom, Sophia, and my four sisters Consilla (19), Amanda (11), Greta(10), and Tricia (4). My nerves were going crazy and all I could think about is that I am supposed to live with this strange family.

I sat down next to my new Mama Sophia and Tricia immediately climbed into my lap and began to fall asleep. I couldn’t have felt more loved, I was already part of the family, even if it was one of the most uncomfortable situations a family could be in.

We waited for the car to take my things and all 6 of us to the house. I was completely embarrassed by how heavy my bags were and how many extra items I needed to carry. My family didn’t seem to notice how cumbersome my suitcase, duffel bag, backpack, shower bucket, water filter, jerry can, emergency water jug, and medical kit were. When we finally got to the house I walked directly into what my life will now be like. I am one of the lucky few who has a western toilet inside the house and our shower room is inside the house as well. My family showed me, my icyumba (bedroom), the girls icyumba, Mamas icyumba, and bathroom inside the house all off the living/dining room. We walked out back into the cement courtyard to see the kitchen, the Umukozi (house maid), Elise’s, bedroom, and the water room.

At this point the only Kinyarwanda I knew was how to introduce myself and say I am an American from Colorado, not very useful when you have to eat dinner with 5 Rwandans who already know that. Luckily my younger host sisters are 10 and 11, so they have begun learning English at school, they were able to help a little when it came to what was for dinner. Since Rwandans traditionally eat dinner very late, we finished around 9pm and I immediately dismissed myself to bed, mostly since I didn’t know what else to do. To be honest the minute I closed my bedroom door the tears started. The reality of living in this new culture hit me like a wave and I didn’t know what to do. Imagine being in the situation I was in; having to ask how to bathe, go to the bathroom, and having zero control over anything you ate or did during the day. None of these things are necessarily bad, but when you realize every custom and routine you are used to, has just changed, it is a terrifying moment. I sat on the floor of my bedroom repacking my suitcase to prepare to live out of it for 3 months, when my Mama knocked on my door to explain how to tuck a mosquito net under my bed and how to use the light switch to. This gesture of kindness and caring eased only a little weariness as I headed for the first night of rough sleep while in Rwanda.

The next morning I was greeted with smiles and many “Muramuste!” (good morning) which eased even more weariness from living in this strange house. Tricia came out with her thumb in her mouth and immediately fell back asleep in my lap.

Of course, I broke every Rwandan bathing rule since I was too shy to ask for water for my bucket bath (an explanation for another post). Although, my family didn’t seem to notice as they walked me to my first day of Peace Corps Training.

Since this very awkward first night with my family I have officially become one of them in just a few short days. Tonight my family even let me get my own plate and (a small victory, I know) my host sisters and I watched The Princess Diaries on my laptop (they love princesses). I’m starting to feel more at home and less uncomfortable about asking for help with random things I would normally know. My Mama excitedly taught me how to wrap an igetenge (fabric wrap for bathing and wearing around the house) around my waist the second I got home with one today. And Tricia immediately took it off to wrap it around herself. Asking to use my families water for bathing and filtering is still an awkward thing, but I’ll figure it out eventually, I am here for a while.