'Bad'byes

Who ever named 'goodbyes' was lying to you. I have never experienced a 'good'bye. No matter how many times I travel or leave home I always have a hard time leaving my family. Maybe that says something about my family or I'm just very clingy, but I always have 'bad'byes.

Today, was a big day. I was lucky enough to have my Uncle Ronnie and Aunt Laura take me out to breakfast before I got pulled into a tidal wave of Peace Corps.

Today was Staging. We received our passports and had an orientation our first orientation. This was the first time I met everyone I will be going on this crazy adventure with. Through all of the excitement though I continued to have a nagging feeling about leaving my family (who wouldn't). Since I am a known crier, I am not embarrassed to say I was on the verge of tears most of the day. As I sat in Staging I was surrounded by 45 volunteers who are probably all as scared as I am, but of course no one said anything about it. Our wonderfully sweet coordinator covered the Peace Corps Core Expectations and had us reflect on our commitment to serve. Every time I heard 27 months more panic started to build and my chest and that number seemed bigger and bigger. 27 months is a long time to not see your family. 27 months is a lot of birthdays, holidays, and milestones you will miss. I would be lying if I didn't say I already have FOMO (The Fear Of Missing Out).

As our orientation continued the topic of early termination (ET) of course came up. I know I will feel like leaving more than once in the next 27 months, but I also know that I would never forgive myself for giving up something I have wanted so bad. That being said, being away from my family is hard. Missing birthdays, holidays, and seeing your friends and family continue living their lives will always be hard, but I came to the Peace Corps for a purpose and I believe I will have succeeded if I touched one person's life.